Tuesday, September 3, 2013

A Perv Among Us

I was minding my own business at work today, thinking only extremely pure and religious thoughts *AHEM*, when I received a letter from the treasurer of my business condo association. It read:

"Acme Sanitation has brought to my attention that materials are being improperly disposed of into our septic system.  These materials can cause the system to backup and become clogged.  Please see the attached invoice for more details."---Joe Smith, Treasurer

Hmmm....Why didn't he mention what the materials were in the letter?

So, I dug around in the envelope for more information and I found this....

Then, because I am the consummate professional that you expect me to be, I ran into the production area and yelled, "Holy crap!  There are PERVS among us!  Hide your kids! Hide your wife! Hide your husband!"

And the guys were all, "What the hell?"

So, I showed them the letter and then, because they are consummate professionals, they all started taking bets on what neighbors they thought were bumping uglies during work hours and we came to the consensus that somebody's probably having an affair, y'all.

That's when I realized that perhaps collectively, we---being the consummate professionals that we are---should probably pay a tad bit more attention to the OTHER piece of mail that we received today...

Because I'm pretty sure that if we owned a Fortune 500 company (we are sooooo far from it), talking about wieners at work would probably be considered inappropriate behavior....as is, boinking your coworker in the employee terlet, I suppose.

But, that's just an assumption, y'all....